Teen dating violence (TDV) is a pattern of behavior that includes physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse used by one person in a dating relationship to exert power and control over another. In most cases, violence is used to get another to do what he/she wants, to gain power and control, to cause humiliation and to promote fear, and to retaliate against a partner.
TDV is generally defined as occurring among individuals between the ages of 13 and 19 years old. Approximately 25% of teens report experiencing TDV annually.
Understanding What Teen Dating Violence Is:
TDV is a prevalent form of intimate partner violence that manifests in various ways. While it can sometimes be overt, such as physical or sexual abuse, it often takes more subtle forms, including economic abuse. For instance, a teenager may experience violence if their partner is stealing from them or exploiting them financially, which can severely impact their future career and financial stability. Additionally, verbal and emotional abuse are significant aspects of teen dating violence; the absence of physical harm does not diminish the damaging effects of a partner's harmful words and behaviors. These forms of abuse can inflict deep emotional scars that may not be immediately visible to outsiders, yet they profoundly affect the victim's well-being and self-esteem.
Why Does TDV Exist?: Teen dating violence is far more common than many people realize. One in three teenagers — nearly 1.5 million young people — report being in an unhealthy relationship. While both boys and girls can be victims, research consistently shows that girls are disproportionately affected. An estimated one in four teenage girls has experienced an abusive relationship, and young women ages 16 to 24 are three times more likely than any other age group to be abused by a dating partner. Romantic relationships are also beginning earlier than in previous generations, sometimes as young as ages 12 or 13. At this stage, teens and pre‑teens are still developing the emotional and cognitive skills needed to manage conflict, communicate effectively, and handle the pressures of intimacy. Without these skills, relationships are more likely to become unhealthy or even violent. Teen dating relationships are at greater risk when:
Teens lack the maturity to express their feelings
Teens do not understand how to communicate effectively
Teens struggle with depression, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties
Teens feel pressured by peers to behave in ways that make them uncomfortable
Drugs or alcohol are involved
Teens also learn by observing the world around them. They absorb behaviors they see in media, online, and in their own homes. Because violence and unhealthy relationship dynamics are often normalized in entertainment, many teens begin to view controlling or harmful behaviors as typical or unavoidable. This misunderstanding becomes even more dangerous when teens witness abusive or unhealthy relationships in their own families, reinforcing the belief that such behavior is normal.
Signs of an Abusive Relationship: Romantic relationships between teenagers can be incredibly complex. Building and maintaining a healthy relationship often requires a level of maturity that many teens are still developing. Because of this, teen relationships are more likely to face challenges such as poor communication, jealousy, and difficulty practicing selflessness. As a result, teenagers may find themselves in relationships that are unhealthy, harmful, or even abusive. If you are a teenager involved in a romantic relationship, it is important to recognize the behaviors that may signal an unhealthy or abusive dynamic. Some of those signs are:
Secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family
Avoidance of school or social events with weird excuses
The teen’s partner is extremely jealous or possessive.
Unexplained marks or bruises
Teen’s partner emails or texts excessively.
The teen seems anxious or depressed.
Teen stops participating in favorite activities and events.
The teen’s partner is violent towards animals and other people.
Teens begin to dress differently or inappropriately for the weather.
Types of Dating Abuse:
Physical
Verbal
Psychological/emotional
Sexual
Digital/technology
Digital Abuse & Dating Violence Examples:
Uses technology to keep constant tabs on victim
Demands to see pictures, phone calls, texts, emails, and call histories and checks them
Bullies, steals, insists, and forces you to give out and share all your passwords and codes.
Constantly texts, calls, and emails negative, insulting, or threatening messages to you.
Uses public forums to spread rumors and post pictures and text messages to humiliate you.
Reg Flags in Teenage Relationship's: Also referred to as abusive relationships, can take many different forms, and there is no single behavior that automatically defines a relationship as harmful. However, certain patterns and actions should raise concern. It’s not always immediately clear when teen dating violence is happening. Thus, teens, educators, and parents should familiarize themselves with certain warning signs. Behaviors that should serve as red flags include:
Is extremely jealous, possessive
Withdraws you from friends, family, school, social events, activities, or your interests.
Scares, pushes, hits, chokes, restrains
Physically harms, forces you to have sex
Frequently threatens to harm themselves or commit suicide
Checks up on you obsessively,
Won’t accept a breakup
Excessive jealousy or insecurity
Invasions of your privacy
Unexpected bouts of anger or rage
Unusual moodiness
Pressuring a partner into unwanted sexual activity
Blaming you for problems in the relationship and not taking any responsibility for the same
Controlling tendencies
Explosive temper
Preventing you from going out with or talking to other people
Constantly monitoring your whereabouts and checking in to see what you are doing and who you are with;
Falsely accusing you of things
Vandalizing or ruining your personal property
Taunting or bullying; or
Threatening or causing physical violence
These warning signs may not always indicate that teen dating violence has already happened. That said, they may still indicate that it could happen in the future if action is not taken to address the issue.
If You Think You Are in an Abusive Relationship: If your partner shows any of the concerning behaviors listed above, or if they have physically harmed you in any way, it’s important to know that you have options. Trust your instincts — if you feel unsafe or believe your relationship is unhealthy, it is okay to end it. If you’re afraid to confront your partner or worried about how they might react, there are many resources available that can offer support, guidance, and counseling. If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, you should consider:
Reaching out to a trusted friend, teacher, parent, or mentor
Spending more time with people who make you feel safe and supported
Getting involved in activities you enjoy that connect you with positive, encouraging peers
Seeking guidance from a school counselor or therapist
Calling a domestic violence hotline for confidential support and advice
The Impacts of Teen Dating Violence Teens involved in unhealthy or abusive relationships are at greater risk of experiencing serious and long‑lasting consequences. These may include:
Depression and anxiety
Risky sexual behavior (not using condoms, multiple partners)
Unhealthy dieting behaviors
Substance abuse
Suicidal ideation/attempts
Victimization in college
Avoidance of school to avoid the abuser
Increased Risk of Being a Teen Abuser: Teens who experience violent or abusive relationships face serious and lasting consequences. Research shows that individuals who are harmed in adolescence are more likely to enter unhealthy or abusive relationships later in life. Many adults who engage in domestic abuse report having experienced sexual, physical, or emotional harm during childhood or their teenage years. In addition, a teenager who commits dating violence may face significant legal consequences that can affect their future opportunities and well‑being. Being abused can lead to many after affects like:
Believe dating violence is acceptable.
Aggressive behavior
Early-age substance use
Early sexual activity/multiple partners
Friends who abusers
Witnessing or experiencing violence at home
Depression, anxiety, trauma
Preventing Teen Dating Violence: Open and honest communication is essential when supporting teenagers, especially because teens are not always comfortable sharing their experiences with adults. Many victims of teen dating violence never seek help because they feel embarrassed, fear how their parents might react, or worry about what their peers will think. Creating space for regular conversations — and helping both boys and girls understand the importance of trust, respect, and honesty in relationships — can build a strong foundation for healthy future partnerships. Teens should be encouraged to talk with adults they admire and trust. When teens fear punishment, they may stay silent even when they are in danger or need support. Establishing a line of communication that is free from threats, judgment, or automatic consequences can make it easier for them to speak up. Because abuse in teenage relationships can lead to serious long‑term problems, keeping communication open is one of the most important ways to identify concerns early and prevent harmful situations from escalating.
Barriers to seeking help: There is often a fear of:
Bad reputation, rumors
Exposed secrets, outing
Loss of social status
Retaliation from partner, friends
Parental reaction
Loss of freedom
Disappointment
Love
Normalization
Pregnancy
Lack of experience
Distrust of adults
Low self-esteem
Social/Peer Pressure
Isolation
How to Stop Teen Dating Violence Before It Starts: Teen dating violence is a pressing issue that demands our attention. According to a survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately one in eleven female high school students reported experiencing physical dating violence in the past year, while one in fourteen male students reported similar victimization.
It is crucial for victims to understand their legal rights, as these can differ by state, but generally, there are measures they can take to ensure their safety. More importantly, we must focus on prevention strategies to address and eliminate teen dating violence before it starts. By fostering awareness and promoting healthy relationship practices, we can create a safer environment for all young people.
Teaching Teens to Recognize Warning Signs: It is crucial for both educators and parents to recognize the signs of teen dating violence, as this knowledge enhances their ability to intervene effectively. However, even well-informed adults may struggle to identify these signs, particularly if the abusive behavior is hidden when they are present or if the teen is involved with someone they rarely encounter. Therefore, it is equally important to educate teens about recognizing when they are victims of violence and to help them understand that certain seemingly innocuous behaviors can actually be harmful.
Parents can initiate conversations at home about unacceptable behaviors in relationships, while schools can integrate lessons on teen dating violence into health curricula. By prioritizing education on this issue, we can foster healthier relationships among teens and raise awareness, ultimately reducing the prevalence of dating violence. Addressing this critical issue also requires legislative action to enhance support for victims, as existing laws in some states may need to be strengthened to provide better protection.
How to Talk to Your Teen About TDV: Teenagers' perceptions of intimate relationships are significantly shaped by the examples they encounter in their daily lives and through various media. When adolescents are exposed to violent or damaging relationship dynamics, whether observed in the home, on television, or in films, they may inadvertently normalize these behaviors, potentially accepting them within their own dating experiences.
Establish Open Lines of Communication and Set Positive Examples: Adults play a crucial role in counteracting these negative influences by modeling healthy relationship behaviors and actively engaging in discussions about the dynamics teens witness. For instance, using a movie depicting domestic violence as a prompt to discuss unhealthy actions, even if immediate engagement seems minimal, plants crucial seeds for critical recognition. By consistently encouraging positive relationship habits and explicitly pointing out negative ones, adults significantly contribute to a teenager's ability to shape healthy relational patterns and effectively identify detrimental behaviors.
Talk to Your Teens! Many parents focus primarily on signs that their daughters may be experiencing abuse, but it is equally important to pay attention to the well‑being of both sons and daughters. Any teen — regardless of gender — can be a victim or a perpetrator of dating violence. Staying aware of behavioral changes in all teens helps adults identify concerns early and intervene when necessary. If a teen is showing signs of aggression or engaging in violent behavior toward a partner, it is essential to talk with them about the seriousness of their actions. Teens need to understand that dating violence is not only harmful but can also lead to significant legal consequences. Clear, calm conversations about responsibility, respect, and the law can help prevent harmful patterns from continuing.
Talk to Them in Private: If you suspect your teen is involved in an unhealthy or violent relationship, it is important to set aside time to speak with them privately. Teens are often highly sensitive to how others perceive them, and they may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or unsure about how to talk about their situation. Choosing a quiet, comfortable space where your teen feels safe can help create the right environment for an open and meaningful conversation.
Acknowledge That Relationships Are Difficult: As a parent, you have lived through at least one — and likely several — relationships that have given you experience, insight, and perspective. You understand that relationships require effort, patience, and emotional maturity to succeed. Your teen, whether they have been dating for a while or are just beginning to explore romantic connections, is still learning these skills. Try to relate to the challenges your teen may be facing by acknowledging how much emotional and mental energy a healthy relationship requires. This helps them feel understood rather than judged. It is easy for young people to fall into unhealthy patterns because those behaviors often feel simpler than putting in the time, communication, and self‑reflection that healthy relationships demand.
Don’t Be Afraid to Get Uncomfortable: Difficult conversations are often the ones teens need the most. Talking about dating, boundaries, conflict, or abuse can feel awkward for both parents and teens, but avoiding these topics leaves young people without the guidance they need to navigate complex relationships. Parents who are willing to step into uncomfortable territory show their teens that their safety and well‑being matter more than temporary awkwardness.
Being open about sensitive issues — such as jealousy, controlling behavior, emotional manipulation, or physical harm — helps normalize honest communication. It also teaches teens that they can come to you when something feels wrong, even if they’re unsure how to explain it. When adults model calm, direct, and compassionate conversations, teens learn that difficult topics are not dangerous or shameful; they are simply part of growing up and learning how to build healthy relationships. Encouraging these conversations early and often can prevent problems from escalating and gives teens the confidence to speak up before a situation becomes harmful.
Understand Your Teen’s Relationship: If your teen is in a relationship, make it a priority to ask about their partner and show genuine interest in the connection. When parents invest in understanding who their teen is spending time with, it becomes easier to evaluate the health of the relationship. Building this familiarity also helps you establish a baseline for how the relationship normally functions, making any negative changes more noticeable. Regular, open conversations about your teen’s relationship can also make them feel more comfortable coming to you if something becomes unhealthy. When teens know you care, listen without judgment, and take their feelings seriously, they are far more likely to reach out for help when they need it.
Conversation‑Starting Questions About Dating Violence:
How do you feel when you’re around your partner? Helps teens reflect on emotional safety and comfort.
What does a healthy relationship look like to you? Opens the door to discussing respect, boundaries, and communication.
Have you ever seen a relationship—online, at school, or in media—that didn’t seem healthy? Allows teens to talk about red flags without focusing on themselves.
How do you and your partner handle disagreements? Reveals whether conflict is respectful or harmful.
Do you ever feel pressured to do things you’re not comfortable with? Helps identify coercion or manipulation.
When you’re upset, does your partner listen and try to understand you? Encourages teens to think about emotional support.
Do you feel like you can be yourself in your relationship? Highlights issues of control or identity suppression.
Have you noticed any changes in your friendships or activities since you started dating? Helps uncover isolation or controlling behavior.
If a friend were in a relationship like yours, what advice would you give them? Allows teens to evaluate their situation from a safe distance.
What do you think respect looks like in a relationship? Opens a values‑based conversation.
Do you ever feel nervous about how your partner might react to something you say or do? Gently surfaces fear, intimidation, or volatility.
Is there anything about your relationship that feels confusing or stressful? Gives teens permission to express uncertainty.
Please be advised that this standard form was created using a Weebly form. The data is captured within the
Weebly website builder, and does not automatically flow into the Flipcause system or into any other software.
If you have need for a different type of form, please reach out to your Success Team for more information.
You can also learn more about the different types of forms that are available to you by clicking here.