Updated: Feb 22
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We are pleased to announce we've created a new Action Pack with our partners in the Punishers Law Enforcement Motorcycle Club to offer DV survivors in emergency situations. We are also working towards producing these in larger numbers with Project Helping, another local non-profit Ally Remembered recently teamed up with. 

The goal is to provide Action Packs to domestic violence task forces with law enforcement and first responders alongside the individuals we encounter. More to come… If your involved in a situation and need an Action Pack, contact us now.

What we did and where we are going in 2025....

We do not operate a shelter or provide any counseling services or hotline. While those are wish list items, we have never gone after the grants and large funding required to operate those services. We focus on supporting individuals and youth affected by domestic violence and teen dating violence. However, with various other non-profit organizations providing bigger services, we chose to not narrow down our focus to one of two support services. We simply support survivors with whatever is needed.

Here is some of last year's mission accomplishments for 2024:

· Attorney’s fees covered for multiple survivor divorces
· Rent support to avoid multiple survivor evictions from their homes
· Dental bill coverage to repair a survivors damaged teeth
· Multiple family assistance provided for food and essential items
· Youth survivor aid for their local sporting programs fees
· Emergency relocation assistance for multiple survivors
· 15 families and 32 kids supported via Ally’s Angels with wrapped holiday gifts


Our mission against domestic violence includes us supprting numerous topics:
Food Bank Sponsorships
Financial Seminars
Youth Ambassador Mentoring Programs
Teen Dating Violence Workshops
Emergency Survivor Services
Emergencey Departure Support Bags
Temp Shelter Assistance
Ally's Angel's Holiday Support Program
Paintball Support Includes:
Pit Pals for local and NXL Youth Divisions and youth play

All of this is in Colorado and nationwide. Abusers don't discriminate on their locations so when a call for help comes in, we use Ally's Angels, which has 100's of supporters across the globe to take action where needed. Some situations need to be vetted out with police/medical info verifications to avoid scams before we proceed. Other times we just do what is needed based on the information at hand if we feel the sources are credible enough in an emergency.

​Here's a survivor’s story from someone we helped and a player like us....


Abuse is insidious. It’s not as obvious as many people assume it to be. If it were, many of us would not end up in those situations in the first place. My story is no different. She was charming at first. VERY charming…


I had thought everything through, so I assumed. I thought I was making a good choice born from a place of love, commitment and logic. What I didn’t know is that what I fell in love with was mostly a facade designed to keep me chained in an unhealthy cycle that was about to unfold very shortly. 


It began with lying and gaslighting. Nearly constant deception that she would adamantly refute even when caught. This of course led to arguing that was never resolved. No apology. No…anything. It was as if, according to her behavior, nothing had ever happened. She would wake the next morning as if all was normal and NOTHING was ever said. This continued to happen even years later as the arguing slowly evolved into manipulation and violence. 


Honestly, it’s difficult for me to remember 14 years in perfect detail as PTSD has taken its toll on me. I can only remember spotty flashes of horrible memories; being choked, slammed into the kitchen floor, and having dog food shoved in my mouth until I gagged. I still live with injuries to my neck, lower back, and knees. 


I can’t say I love talking about these memories. I’d prefer to forget them, but if this story can help just one person then the pain associated with the memories is worth it. 

In the end she had ultimate authority, and I was not allowed to challenge it without repercussions. There were no spoken rules, always only implied. By the end of my marriage I was essentially a slave. If I was not bending to her will, I knew I would pay for that in a way my body, and mind, could not afford. I became a broken and shattered human being; I couldn’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. My self esteem was gone. I didn’t even care much if I lived. 


I had been lying to everyone for years. In fact, I had gotten to be so adept at lying about my relationship—as a means of survival—that everyone thought we had the perfect marriage. At that point, I was lying to myself even. I told myself she will change. It will get better. She doesn’t mean it. I couldn’t have been anymore wrong. 


So much of my time and headspace was consumed with thoughts of fear, protecting myself, lying to myself, pleasing her, anxiety, and chasing her approval, that I became isolated from the people I loved most. I couldn’t even leave my home to see friends and family without worrying what I would come back to. I was absolutely now stuck in a twisted cycle. What’s worse, is I was terrified to tell anyone. What if no one believed me? 


Then, one day, I took a leap of faith and told my closest friend the truth. Little did I know, two years later, that decision would save my life. It was that friend who helped me see the light and develop the ounce of courage and self esteem I needed in order to take the first step; leave and get help from local organizations that protect people like me. Organizations that help repair people like me. They are out there. To anyone reading this, I promise they are out there waiting to help you be YOU again. 


When I left my ex, I was terrified. I won’t lie and say I did this without fear. I put my faith in my friend, and the people that were now here to help keep me safe, to make me whole again. Over time that faith in others turned into faith in myself. 


In the end, it was Ally Remembered Foundation that helped me sever ties with my abuser completely. My now ex-wife was using the fact that we weren’t legally divorced as a means to keep talking to me when I just wanted to be left alone. If it weren’t for Ally Remembered, I would not have been able to get a divorce. They paid for the whole thing. They gave me the final puzzle piece of my life back; complete freedom again. 


The ability to sleep peacefully at night knowing that no one can hurt me now because it’s truly over. They helped give me my “beginning”. You’re never too old to begin again. I’m now 41. Words cannot express the gratitude I have for what I have been given by Ally Remembered, as well as my best friend, because it is truly priceless. I have been able to do a significant amount of healing. My therapist says, “it takes time, you’re doing great!” I am now in a heathy relationship with a wonderful partner for almost 2.5 years. 


The future is wide open to me now, and I look forward to all it may bring with confidence. I may have had to lose most of the things I owned in the divorce in order to get the divorce done quickly, but you cannot put a price tag on freedom. Rebuilding from something like this takes time and resources, but it is a challenge I welcome as a free human being. 

It is my hope that anyone reading this who is in a similar situation realizes they aren’t alone no matter how much they feel like they are, and that they take the first step to reach out to someone safe. People are out there waiting to help you and heal you. 


I didn’t think anyone was, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I would never have imagined of all places it would have been the paintball community where I would find the help I needed. I would have never known that when I picked up my first paintball marker 20 years ago, it would have led me to someone that grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the water as I was drowning. 


It is also my hope that anyone reading this who isn’t in an abusive situation, learns to listen without judgement, and create safe spaces for people like me to speak openly. It is my greatest hope that more people will reach out to others with empathy and humanity. We are all human and subject to suffering. No one is above that. We all need love and safe places to open up. 


Be kind to one another. You never know whose life you will change that day. You never know who’s hero you may become with just a simple action or sentence. It only takes a spark to ignite a fire.

Here's some very crucial information from NDVH, the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
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To understand relationship abuse, we must recognize that it is more than just physical violence. Domestic violence can happen in different ways, so it’s important to understand the behaviors that define it. Ending the harm and stigma of domestic violence requires a nuanced understanding of what abuse is, as well as examples of healthy relationships. This can help you make the best decisions for yourself or for a loved one.
Our advocates are available 24/7 by phone and live chat to discuss your situation and help you determine if your relationship might be abusive.

Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.
Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. People of any race, age, gender, sexuality, religion, education level, or economic status can be a victim — or perpetrator — of domestic violence. That includes behaviors that physically harm, intimidate, manipulate, or control a partner or otherwise force them to behave in ways they don’t want to. This can happen through physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, or financial control.

Multiple forms of abuse are usually present at the same time in abusive situations, and it’s essential to understand how these behaviors interact so you know what to look for. When we understand what relationship abuse looks like and means, we can then take steps to get help for ourselves as well as better support others who are experiencing abuse.
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While everyone does unhealthy things sometimes, we can all learn to love better by recognizing unhealthy signs and shifting to healthy behaviors. If you are seeing unhealthy signs in your relationship, it’s important to not ignore them and understand they can escalate to abuse.


Intensity

When someone expresses very extreme feelings and over-the-top behavior that feels overwhelming. Things are getting too intense if you feel like someone is rushing the pace of the relationship (comes on too strong, too fast) and seems obsessive about wanting to see you and be in constant contact.



Possessiveness

When someone is jealous to a point where they try to control who you spend time with and what you do. While jealousy is a normal human emotion, it becomes unhealthy when it causes someone to control or lash out at you. This means getting upset when you text or hang out with people they feel threatened by, wrongly accusing you of flirting or cheating, or even going so far as to stalk you. Possessiveness is often excused as being overprotective or having really strong feelings for someone.


Manipulation

When someone tries to control your decisions, actions or emotions. Manipulation is often hard to spot, because it can be expressed in subtle or passive-aggressive ways. You know you’re being manipulated if someone is trying to convince you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing, ignores you until they get their way, or tries to influence your feelings.


Isolation

When someone keeps you away from friends, family, or other people. This behavior often starts slowly with someone asking you to spend more 1:1 time with them but can later escalate to demands that you don’t see certain people. Often, they will ask you to choose between them and your friends, insist that you spend all your time with them, or make you question your own judgment of friends and family. If you are experiencing isolation, you may end up feeling like you’re dependent on your partner for love, money or acceptance.


Sabotage

When someone purposely ruins your reputation, achievements, or success. Sabotage includes keeping you from doing things that are important to you. Behaviors like talking behind your back, starting rumors, or threatening to share private information about you, is also sabotage.


Belittling

When someone does and says things to make you feel bad about yourself. This includes name-calling, making rude remarks about people you’re close with, or criticizing you. It’s also belittling when someone makes fun of you in a way that makes you feel bad, even if it’s played off as a joke. Over time, this can make you lose confidence in yourself or your abilities.


Guilting

When someone makes you feel responsible for their actions or makes you feel like it’s your job to keep them happy. They may blame you for things that are out of your control and make you feel bad for them. This includes threatening to hurt themselves or others if you don’t do as they say or stay with them. They might also pressure you to do something that you’re not comfortable with by claiming that it’s important to them or that it’ll hurt their feelings if you don’t do it.


Volatility

When someone has a really strong, unpredictable reaction that makes you feel scared, confused or intimidated. A volatile person makes you feel like you need to walk on eggshells around them or they will have extreme reactions to small things. Your relationship with them might feel like a rollercoaster that contains extreme ups and downs. They may overreact to small things, have major mood swings or lose control by getting violent, yelling or threatening you.


Deflecting Responsibility

When someone repeatedly makes excuses for their unhealthy behavior. They may blame you or other people for their own actions. Often, this includes making excuses based on alcohol or drug use, mental health issues or past experiences (like a cheating ex or divorced parents).


Betrayal

When someone is disloyal or acts in an intentionally dishonest way. They may act like a different person around other people or share private information about you to others. It also includes lying, purposely leaving you out, being two-faced, or cheating on you.